It’s Like Being Single Again

Seriously.

I (N) can sympathize with all you single girls because I get ALL worked up worrying about my friends’ social lives. And, now, it seems, I’m always on the prowl for attractive men, so I can say things like, “Ohmigosh, you’re really cute – how would you like to date my friend?”

And this sums up how socially awkward I might be, if my sweet husband hadn’t been deluded enough to fall in love with me eight years ago, and patient enough to put up with me since then. Take, for example, this recent incidence.

( Setting: A gelateria at night. A couple in t-shirts and shorts stands outside preparing to enter. Behind the counter, a handsome young man converses with customers.)

N (internal monologue): Oh, wow, he’s really handsome. TALK ABOUT L, TALK ABOUT L.

Gelato boy: Would you like to try a sample of the mediterranean sea salt caramel?

N (internal monologue): But you’ll look ridiculous. You’re with a MAN; why are you going to start asking someone out? And, you’re in workout clothes. Do you think he’s going to be attracted to the idea of your friend when you’re a sweaty mess?

Husband: Can I try the pistachio?

N (internal monologue): Ack, you’re missing your chance! Free gelato for life! Ask him, ask him!

N (aloud): Umm…can I have the pannacotta wedding cake?

N (internal monologue): Ahhhhh! You said wedding cake – now he TOTALLY suspects!!!!! HURRY….USE YOUR RING HAND TO GRAB YOUR GELATO SO HE KNOWS YOU’RE MARRIED TO THE GUY THAT YOU’RE WITH!!!!!!!!

N (aloud): Thanks. By the way, last time I had gelato was ON MY HONEYMOON IN ITALY so you have a lot to live up to.

 * * *

At this point, I die of internal awkwardness.

Although, afterwards, we did end up chatting a bit with him outside about fireworks, his hometown and college basketball, I never brought up the 27 Suit{or}s project, mostly because I realized, if he’s 27+ and working in a gelateria, he might not be the very best choice of date for my lovely friend. However, he might be suitable for my sister 😉 , if he’s still a student, since she’s a youngster herself.

***

And that’s why I can sympathize with you, single girls of the world. However, I do have exciting news regarding the 27S project, which I will have to reveal on another day, once the details are more hashed out.

Don’t forget – recommend your friends – L would love to meet them: 27suits@gmail.com.

How this Started

You might well wonder, what kind of girl would be so crazy (or so optimistic) as to place her dating life in the hands of her friends?

Well, it actually wasn’t our idea. We borrowed the idea, in one form, from a friend’s sister-in-law. And then we molded it to fit our own guidelines. L agreed to go on 27 dates, because she’s now 27. We came up with the whole project – of course – over beers and margaritas and the free nacho car at one of our favorite happy hour spots, Chuy’s (try the creamy jalepeno if you ever go there!).

“I have a PLAN,” I (N) said secretively on the car ride over.

E (another friend from work) and L, both of whom were fearfully watching the road as I attempted to brainstorm AND drive, were eager to discuss, but we waited for the grand unveiling when all the girls of the HHC (or at least a good majority of them) were together.

Then, again, deliberatly and dramatically, I said, “I have a PLAN,” and revealed the idea of a blind date project. Of course, as are most of my madcap ideas, it was met with applause (alright, actually, it was met with nods and thoughtful looks as people began going through their mental Rolodexes and contacts lists to find their single friends).

But, then, it became a project everyone could get behind, as people began asking L for her qualifications, some of which were serious (like no kids), others of which were more surface-level, like good teeth.

My sister, M, always filled with bare-faced honesty, blurted out, “Yeah, there’s nothing worse than adult braces,” unfortunately in front of a friend who is considering braces. When I started gesturing frantically with a chip, she decided to try to revise her statement, going instead with the brilliance of, “I mean, they defintely shouldn’t be like NEON braces, or something like that.” Which is why we love her.

E volunteered that all guys should be required to submit a picture, preferably multiple pictures, because, “when I’m looking at a house, I’m going to be more likely to buy it if I see more pictures.” And thus, we moved into the “men as real estate angle,” which is probably better than the facial hair conundrum we next attacked (and discovered we had differing opinions on).

My sister, with her brilliance, was the one who came up with the name of our project, obviously a riff on 27 Dresses, but no less brilliant for all that. That girl has a career in marketing calling her name. 😉

So, that’s how it got started. And now, we’re not-too-desperately-seeking men. Decent, upstanding men. The kind who open the car door for you, and who don’t expect too much on a first date. Not the kind that seem to be floating around on a certain dating site (which we’ll have to elaborate on more later). The kind that are decent, upstanding, and have enough sense of humor to participate in this project.

We’ll even mask their identities. What could be better? Send your friends our way – 27suits@gmail.com.

Looking for a Few Good Men

Meet L.

A South Texas girl with Norwegian blood flowing in her veins, L’s fair-skinned, blonde prettiness might not be the first thing you think of when you envision a single girl from San Antonio, a city better known for sultry Latin beauties like Eva Longoria. A marketing professional, a Bobcat alum and a lover of Texas Country, L is a fairly traditional girl, one who you might expect to already be surrounded by a family of pale-haired, blue-eyed babies, even at the tender age of 27, just because her personality is so sweet and charming. But that just wasn’t her destiny.

Which makes it a good thing that she has N for a friend. Because out of this friendship has arisen a game-changer: the 27 Suit{or}s challenge.

L has agreed to go on 27 blind dates in order to meet new men, to step out of her comfort zone, and to possibly find true love.

She’s still selective; she won’t date just anyone, so none of the peasants and vagrants of today’s modern world need apply. Instead, anyone who wishes to meet and date this blond bombshell will have to:

1) Be within the proper age range (25-35)

2) Not have any kids

3) Be gainfully employed

4) Be vouched for by at least one friend/acquaintance

Interested? Get in touch. Per the rules of this social experiment, L will agree to unconventional dates such as Skype dates, if you have an out-of-town friend you’d like to present as a candidate.

Let the dating game begin!

PS Bonus points will be given to participants who drive a truck.